Mitt’s Speech Before The NAACP

Where my dawgs at? Oh, dat’s right. On da roof of my wheels.

The following is a transcript of Mitt Romney’s speech before the NAACP.

Whazzup. I love my homies. I got me some homies everywhere. New Hampshire. San Diego. Colorado. Big homies. I be living large and gangsta with my homies. 30,000 square feet, and dat’s no lie.

Gonna raise the roof on this mother, that’s where my dawgs at. On da roof.  Of my wheels.

OK, here’s the dillio.  I ain’t be faking jacks when I say it’s an honor to represent before da N Double A C to the P.

And I ain’t Zootie Bang.  This no Wanksta. I is for realz. Mitt Romney ain’t no played out  Skeezer.

Sure, I got my scrilla, my bitches, my zootie bang. Yeah, true dat word up. But they be more to life dan stack chips. I wanna be president to all my peeps.

And the first thing I be doing as president is I gonna squash the beef when it comes to Obamacare.

(BOO)

Obamacare is wack. I going to wreck shop that bitch you know what I’m saying?

(BOO)

See? This is why we didn’t allow you people into the Mormon Church until the 1970s. You people don’t know how to behave.

And by “you people” I don’t mean your people, I would never call you people “you people” because that would be demeaning to you people.

Thanks, and peace out.

BOO)