Category: The News From Around The World

Grow Your Own Penis

Scientists ready to test lab-grown penises on men
Scientists ready to test lab-grown penises on men

Home grown dicks coming soon to a crotch near you!

Penises grown in labs are coming! Get your mind out of the gutter, you know what I mean. This will come in handy for men who have had their junk cut off by angry wives and girlfriends. Who knows, maybe one day they will create a serum that you can inject into your existing penis to make it even bigger. One can wish, right?

Researchers at the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, are assessing engineered penises for safety, function and durability. They hope to receive approval from the US Food and Drug Administration and to move to human testing within five years.

 

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Apocalypse Soon: Meet The Scientists Preparing For the End Times

Apocalypse Soon: Meet The Scientists Preparing For the End Times

The men were too absorbed in their work to notice my arrival at first. Three walls of the conference room held whiteboards densely filled with algebra and scribbled diagrams. One man jumped up to sketch another graph, and three colleagues crowded around to examine it more closely. Their urgency surprised me, though it probably shouldn’t have. These academics were debating what they believe could be one of the greatest threats to mankind—could superintelligent computers wipe us all out?

I was visiting the Future of Humanity Institute, a research department at Oxford University founded in 2005 to study the “big-picture questions” of human life. One of its main areas of research is existential risk. The physicists, philosophers, biologists, economists, computer scientists, and mathematicians of the institute are students of the apocalypse.

Predictions of the end of history are as old as history itself, but the 21st century poses new threats. The development of nuclear weapons marked the first time that we had the technology to end all human life. Since then, advances in synthetic biology and nanotechnology have increased the potential for human beings to do catastrophic harm by accident or through deliberate, criminal intent.

In July this year, long-forgotten vials of smallpox—a virus believed to be “dead”—were discovered at a research center near Washington, DC. Now imagine some similar incident in the future, but involving an artificially generated killer virus or nanoweapons. Some of these dangers are closer than we might care to imagine. When Syrian hackers sent a message from the Associated Press Twitter account that there had been an attack on the White House, the Standard & Poor’s 500 stock market briefly fell by $136b. What unthinkable chaos would be unleashed if someone found a way to empty people’s bank accounts?

Apocalypse Soon: Meet The Scientists Preparing For the End Times

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All Hail the Lord of the Twin Moons!

All Hail the Lord of the Twin Moons: A Look at Last Night’s SIMPSONS Couch Gag

All Hail the Lord of the Twin Moons: A Look at Last Night’s SIMPSONS Couch Gag

Last night’s couch gag on The Simpsons might go down as one of the oddest in the history of the series. The 26th season opener propels the “Sampsans” into a grey null space of protoplasmic, shriek-talking figures and might just be mainstream America’s first real introduction to Oscar-nominated animator Don Hertzfeldt.

The deliberately off-putting (and lengthy) clip blends live-action and animation while pitch-shifting the voices of The Simpsons clan beyond recognition (although I kind of think Yeardley Smith is voicing the tentacled Marge). Set in the year 10,535, it’s like Hertzfeldt boiled off all of the joy from the long-running animated series and skimmed the broadest cultural signifiers off the top. Then had aliens animate it.

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Keeping Up With The Zimmerman’s?

George Zimmerman’s Family Wants To Be Reality TV Stars (and Other Revelations from the Insane GQ Profile)

George Zimmerman’s Family Wants To Be Reality TV Stars (and Other Revelations from the Insane GQ Profile)

The Daily Banter’s Chez Pazienza tells it like is, even when the story is disgusting and is a shining example of what is wrong with America today. Here’s an excerpt to get your horror juices flowing:

There’s a reason writer Amanda Robb begins her GQ magazine profile of George Zimmerman’s family with Robert Zimmerman’s thoughts on “rebranding” the family name. Robert, who’s been the clan’s unofficial spokesperson since his brother George killed Trayvon Martin two-and-a-half years ago, talks about his vision for a potential reality TV show starring his elder sibling. “I learn a lot from watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” he says. “Like, use the shit you’ve got.” The younger Zimmerman has all kinds of plans for rehabilitating his brother’s image and capitalizing on his infamy, including a line of security products that would bear a distinctive “Z” logo and a Candid Camera-style program that would have George surprising unsuspecting strangers, presumably not by shooting them. Robb sets the stage by making it clear why the seemingly reclusive Zimmerman family might have agreed to do an interview with GQ in the first place.

If you think George Zimmerman’s public life has played out like one big psychodrama since he shot and killed an unarmed black teenager, you can’t imagine how bizarre it’s been behind the scenes. It makes sense that the Zimmermans would realize the potential peril George’s violent encounter with Trayvon Martin — and the court’s decision to let him walk for it — might put them in. But their paranoia runs so deep that it feels like it might have been a kind of dormant virus that existed all along and was either awakened by circumstance or actually led to the shooting that put them all in their current position as the family of a cultural pariah.

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