Tag: Mormon Church

Mitt’s Speech Before The NAACP

Where my dawgs at? Oh, dat’s right. On da roof of my wheels.

The following is a transcript of Mitt Romney’s speech before the NAACP.

Whazzup. I love my homies. I got me some homies everywhere. New Hampshire. San Diego. Colorado. Big homies. I be living large and gangsta with my homies. 30,000 square feet, and dat’s no lie.

Gonna raise the roof on this mother, that’s where my dawgs at. On da roof.  Of my wheels.

OK, here’s the dillio.  I ain’t be faking jacks when I say it’s an honor to represent before da N Double A C to the P.

And I ain’t Zootie Bang.  This no Wanksta. I is for realz. Mitt Romney ain’t no played out  Skeezer.

Sure, I got my scrilla, my bitches, my zootie bang. Yeah, true dat word up. But they be more to life dan stack chips. I wanna be president to all my peeps.

And the first thing I be doing as president is I gonna squash the beef when it comes to Obamacare.

(BOO)

Obamacare is wack. I going to wreck shop that bitch you know what I’m saying?

(BOO)

See? This is why we didn’t allow you people into the Mormon Church until the 1970s. You people don’t know how to behave.

And by “you people” I don’t mean your people, I would never call you people “you people” because that would be demeaning to you people.

Thanks, and peace out.

BOO)

 

 

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Feldman’s Brain Is Oozing

Women who use non-oral hormonal contraceptives, like patches and vaginal rings, may be at a higher risk of blood clots. Finally some good news for Rick Santorum.

Mitt Romney told Republican supporters, “What I did in high school doesn’t prove I am a mean spirited bully who lacks empathy. Luckily, I have my tenure at Bain Capitol to prove that.

If you haven’t heard, when Mitt was a wee lad of just 18 he wrestled a homosexual classmate to the ground and then forcibly cut his hair as the boy cried out for help. I believe in the Mormon Church that’s called, “Punching Away The Gay.”

Mitt admitted this morning that he did do some things 50 years ago that he wishes he could take back. Hey It’s Mitt Romney. The guy wishes he could take back things he did 50 seconds ago.

And might I add I think it’s fabulous Bristol Palin can come out against same sex marriage and still find time to take care of her bastard child.

After years of only supporting same sex civil unions President Obama finally came out in favor of gay marriage saying it took several years for his position to evolve. Michele Bachmann said Obama was unfit for office since he believes in something as repulsive as evolution.

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