A Look Back at The Week

The morbidly obese bullies Rush Limbaugh and Chris Christie attended Donald Trump’s Christmas party at the White House. When Limbaugh and Christie were shown the Treaty Room they both asked, “Where are the treats?”

Asked what he thought of the West Wing and the East Wing, Christie said, “I prefer my wings with a side of Blue Cheese.”

Christie and Limbaugh then smoked a stogie on the Truman Balcony which was immediately renamed the Truman Basement. 

In honor of Chris Christie’s Type 2 Diabetes the Green Room was renamed the Gangrene Room.

The guest performer at the White House Christmas party was Rush Limbaugh’s cousin, Stephen Limbaugh III who is a concert pianist. His songs included a medley of tunes by Cream, Vanilla Fudge, Bread, Hot Tuna, and of course Meatloaf.

Just For Men said it would no longer advertise on Tucker Carlson. Wow,  Just For Men really does get the white out.

Donald Trump announced he’s bringing the troops home from Syria and Afghanistan. Just in time to defend us in the War on Honda Days. 

I’m all for the sanctity of Honda Days. But please stop wishing me a Happy Honda Days. My people don’t celebrate Honda Days. And is it my imagination or has Honda Days gotten way too commercial? 

Even worse, I just got my credit card statement. Turns out all the money I donated to this year’s Toyotathon went to the Trump Foundation.

And shut up about the shut down. Does Trump know the Mueller probe continues with or without a government shutdown? Meanwhile, two of Michael Flynn’s associates were indicted for lobbying for Turkey. And Chris Christie was indicted for lobbying for Greece…eee fried chicken. 

General Mattis quit because corrupt Russian oligarchs are now dictating United States military policy. That’s outrageous! U.S. military policy should only be dictated by corrupt American oligarchs! I worry General Mattis’ stepping down will unleash a fresh wave of generals resigning. There just aren’t enough six figure jobs at Boeing, Raytheon and NBC News to accommodate them all. Smart move there General Mattis. No better way to protest cutting and running than by cutting and running. Defense Secretary Mick Mulvaney anybody? 

Stephen Miller is celebrating today’s Winter Solstice by walking around Stonehenge carrying a tiki torch shouting, “Druids will not replace us!” It took a few days, but I finally figured out how Stephen Miller ended up with all that shoe polish on his head. The  makeup person for Face the Nation is Hispanic. Or Muslim. Or LGBTQ. Or graduated from first grade.