Category: Top Stories

John Edwards’s Testes Money

The jury in the John Edwards trial is deliberating the fate of the former senator and presidential candidate. In getting our “Best Of Paul Dooley” episode ready we came across this sketch Paul wrote about John Edwards coming across his Baby Mama.

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Feldman’s Brain Is Oozing

Women who use non-oral hormonal contraceptives, like patches and vaginal rings, may be at a higher risk of blood clots. Finally some good news for Rick Santorum.

Mitt Romney told Republican supporters, “What I did in high school doesn’t prove I am a mean spirited bully who lacks empathy. Luckily, I have my tenure at Bain Capitol to prove that.

If you haven’t heard, when Mitt was a wee lad of just 18 he wrestled a homosexual classmate to the ground and then forcibly cut his hair as the boy cried out for help. I believe in the Mormon Church that’s called, “Punching Away The Gay.”

Mitt admitted this morning that he did do some things 50 years ago that he wishes he could take back. Hey It’s Mitt Romney. The guy wishes he could take back things he did 50 seconds ago.

And might I add I think it’s fabulous Bristol Palin can come out against same sex marriage and still find time to take care of her bastard child.

After years of only supporting same sex civil unions President Obama finally came out in favor of gay marriage saying it took several years for his position to evolve. Michele Bachmann said Obama was unfit for office since he believes in something as repulsive as evolution.

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David Feldman Speaks At Pitzer College Graduation

As a standing Pitzer College tradition, the graduating senior class selects its keynote speaker for the commencement ceremony. 
This year the senior class has selected David Feldman, Emmy award winning comedy writer and performer. He has written for ABC’s Roseanne, HBO’s Dennis Miller Live, HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher and Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He currently writes for Talk Show With Spike Feresten on Fox. David also appears frequently on NBC’s Late Night with Conan O’Brien.

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A Moment Of Feldman

This week the French elected a new president

despite the fact that he fathered four children out of wedlock. Did I say “despite?” I meant because he fathered four children out of wedlock

The new president, Francoise Hollande, defeated Nicolai Sarkozy by debating him solely on how to fix the economy. Not gay marriage, abortion or contraception. How to fix the economy. Moron.

Tuesday was Election Day in America, and Indiana Senator Dick Lugar waged a valiant campaign against his female opponent Vagina Water Cannon.

Interesting side note about Dick Lugar. His porn name is Roger Nussbaum.

Mitt Romney insists he deserves some of the credit for the Auto Industry’s revival. By not getting elected president in 2008.

After 14 months on the campaign trail, Romney says he’s still deciding what his position is on immigration. The man is actually on the fence when it comes to a fence.

Cops say artist Thomas Kinkade died mixing alcohol and Valium. If Kinkaid wanted to completely dull his senses all he had to do was stare at his paintings.

McDonald’s is offering one thousand dollars to any school that allows Ronald McDonald into their classrooms to teach nutrition. Thereby making it the first time in human history a clown has ever made anyone laugh.



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